Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Complete List Of Tired Movie Cliches


So just last night I was watching a film that contained a whole heap of film cliches and screenwriting tropes, and I thought of an exercise to keep your brain ticking. I thought we could all get together and try to compile a complete list of movie cliches that we're sick to death of. Yes, all of them. Yes, from all the different genres. Then maybe someone in Hollywood will print the list out, put it on their wall and stop putting them in all their movies. Hey, it's worth a try.

Here are a few suggestions of the most egregious examples to get you going.

1. No one ever locks their car. This is especially true in action movies but kinda tired all over. In the modern world, you leave your car and you lock it. It's not even something you think about. If you are currently actively engaged in chasing a suspect, I'll concede that you might skip it, but if you're merely in the neighbourhood interviewing a witness, there's no excuse not to at least wave your infrared key fob in the direction of the lock.

2. The L-shaped sheet. So the couple are laying side-by-side in a post-coital glow; he's got the sheet somewhere below the belly-button but she's got it under her armpits. While there are good prurient reasons for both choices, have the courage of your convictions and go one way or other. Unless she's really short and he's really tall, in which case OK.

3. Splitting up to look around. You're in a scary house / spaceship / ol' silver mine. One of your number has gone missing. You're all wigged out. Why, in the name of Pete, would you split up to look for him/her? Has none of you ever seen a horror movie? Hell, even if you haven't have you no common sense? Might as well just blow your own brains out on the spot, unless you're the heroine. Getting split up by circumstance is one thing, but actively splitting up to search for someone is just naff.

4. The big soliloquy the night before the big push. This isn't just true of war movies, but it's most overused there. If you're going over the top in the morning, for god's sake keep your mouth shut. Taking out pictures of your sweetheart / reminiscing about your family back home or your childhood is a good way to get shot. See Dead Meet Thompson in Hot Shots for a great play on the practice, and Saving Private Ryan for its occasional subversion (Ed Burns has a speech but doesn't get hit, for example).

5. The father complex. Get over it. If you're over 21, there's just no excuse for it. This applies especially to Tom Cruise, whose entire '80s oeuvre was built on the father complex.

Right, those are just a few really obvious ones to get you going, and I've barely even touched on rom-coms. What other movie tropes and cliches need to be retired?
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